What makes you happy

The other day, a friend of mine was sharing her experience of the first flight she took in her life. And in the course of the conversation, she said ‘nothing excites us any more Piya... We know we can afford most of the things these days, and for the stuff we can’t, we really don’t care for that much….’

It was a Saturday night and we were sitting at a popular pub in town… music blaring and beer flowing… We had just come out of a movie and I had also shopped to my hearts’ content… But I knew I was not that thrilled about it. I guess that’s why this comment got me thinking…

There was a time when going for a movie itself was a huge event. We planned and discussed and eagerly waited for the day, and discussed some more once it was over for hours… going to a pub of course was unheard of in college and even though a regular feature of work-life, the novelty of it all lasted for quite a bit…
Today of course things are different. Movies, pubs, shopping are like weekly activities… I often feel we are running out of activities that amuse us. I buy what I like and what I think I want, but usually the excitement for the newly obtained object lasts for precisely a day. Sex too is easy… then what is it that melts our hearts and fills it up with warmth?

I do remember that we are supposed to be generation x, and I guess gen y or z are already on their way. My school going niece (currently 12) wants a mobile phone because everyone else in her class has it. It had taken us barely two years to move one from our colour handsets to one with camera and now we are looking at touch phones. Walkmans are obsolete and ipods are in… Gadgets, designer clothes, cars… We have it all and we want more.
But coming back to the original question… What makes us happy? What makes you happy? What is it that fills you heart? Why are we not excited by most of the things around us? The last time I felt really really happy was the day I came back to Mumbai to be greeted by all my friends. I felt great for days… Over the years I have had very few moments which I remember and narrate to others… With time those occasions seem to be dwindling in number… Have I already reached a state where I can only reminisce about my past? Will this present have any meaning in future?

Last evening I realized I may not be as impulsive as I think I am… I had to encounter something, and I was 100% sure I would react negatively to it. But surprise!!! Not only did I not react to it, I was surprisingly cool and ‘appropriate’. I guess I have finally mastered the art of discretion. Or perhaps because I realized it would be a short and smiled my way through it.

How do people react when they suddenly come across someone they don’t wish to interact with? One can always avoid them, pretending they never noticed. Or they can themselves move away, thus avoiding an awkward meeting. If there is no time to react (read escape) they either smile through it or behave rather rudely. Now I had all of the options mentioned above… and I just chose to be diplomatic (I must say it was neither pre-contemplated nor a natural reaction). I don’t know why and how I did what I did. But it did leave me with this thought… how many people do I know who I don’t want to cross paths with for the rest of my life? The list is surprisingly long…

1. Some of my batch mates from school and college
2. My math teacher from high school
3. My professor from graduation
4. Ex boyfriends
5. A couple of my past employers
6. Some of my relatives
7. One landlady
8. A few of my colleagues
9. My husband’s old employer

In fact, there are a few people in this list on whom I have dreamt of inflicting great pains… and if wishes were horses they would have all been rotting in hell by now… Or some medieval ghostly insects would be feeding on them. However, since that’s not happening, I guess I will have to do with the diplomacy and freedom of thought….